Not your Granny's Cranny!
Sharing my Learns & Feels along the way, of all things Life, Love and Niche & Cranny!
Yesterday was my son's very first formal high school dance. His freshman year Homecoming. A good place to start, I suppose, in the Parenting World of All Things High School. I think I learned quite a few lessons along the way in this 'first at bat' that hopefully, given almost four more years, we can fine tune before Senior Prom.
The first lesson: Start Early. Start early asking the questions, especially if your child is a boy. Seems like all of my friends who have daughters, were basically just told the details and the plans and the parents just made it all happen. With my son, it was like pulling teeth to get everything lined up, detailed and organized. We paid out an extra ten dollars more per ticket because he procrastinated on whether he would be going solo with a group of friends, or taking a date. And shopping for his outfit, forget it... he could care less about that detail and didn't want to be bothered. My husband and I bought his tie, without him present. Isn't there something wrong with that? The second lesson: Give him clear expectations on the details. Since he decided he would be taking a date, we needed to negotiate the details of that transaction as he is the Boy, we are Traditional, and He is only still fourteen. Once we gave him our expectations on meeting his date and her parents, things got easier. From there, the details were locked in and the plans were made. We invited his date and her parents over to our house for pictures and appetizers before the dance. His date also happened to be his middle school "girlfriend" of which we had never officially met during those 6th, 7th and 8th grade Wonder Years because their relationship consisted of car pick-up line chatter and Instagram fodder. Thank you, Jesus. This would be our first go as parents, hosting our son's date and her parents, both of whom we'd never officially met, in our home. My son kept complaining to me, "Mom, I don't understand what we are all going to talk about for over an hour... It's going to be so awkward!" Even as I knew and understood his normal anxieties, and trust me, had a few of my own as a First Timer to this sort of thing, I also believed strongly this was the Right thing to do and the way we want to raise our son. I can't tell you how happy I am for our home and to be able to do the right thing and open our home the way we wanted to and the way we plan to for many more years to come. To meet parents, to host friends, to celebrate occasions and holidays and birthdays and people and love and life. The lessons we learn, that build and shape us, start at home. All of those lessons, even the awkward ones, where an hour can seem like five hours. Where you stand in your kitchen with your parents, and her parents, and little siblings, in a tie, and a tucked-in, button-up shirt and uncomfortable shoes and you smile and answer politely and try to seem interested in all of the small talk. Those lessons start at home and when you design your home with those lessons in mind, you will find the comfort. As I start down this journey of helping others achieve their goals for "home," I can't help but to keep the most fundamental element of design in mind... that is, creating a home that is Comforting. One that Invites and Hosts, one that Welcomes. We don't do that with rooms that can't be entered, or sofas that can't be sat on... Instead, we do that with homes where we can touch, fall, shake in our shoes, sit, sweat, gather and live. Homes where awkward meetings can turn into the happiest of times, where wonderful memories are created even in just an hour's worth of time.
6 Comments
Claudia White
10/23/2016 07:53:03 pm
I could see him feeling awkward! This is such a great post. You guys are amazing parents, and it shows on everything you do! Congratulations!
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Doris
10/24/2016 05:16:56 pm
Thanks Claudia!
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Heather Mann
10/24/2016 04:08:38 am
Great post! We bought Andrew's suit the DAY OF in a 25 minute trip to Perry Ellis (our go-to).. Weeks of questioning about plans yielded little to no answers, but I knew it would work out because he was going with all girls, and we know how to get shit done. ;)
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Doris
10/24/2016 05:16:27 pm
Hysterical! Can't believe Day OF! These BOYS!!
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Elena Slay
10/30/2016 07:19:38 am
Definitely a boy thing! We had a 7th grade homecoming here in AL. To prepare for. It's a big deal, I'm talking formal with limousines! My first ever, about two years too early in my opinion. But I was told what, when and how nearly 6 weeks in advance. Took her dress shopping 4 weeks out and realized her friends and moms that joined us for this adventure had all already picked out the dresses! It was never racking taking pictures downtown with friends I had never met and really people she barely knew, given the fact we just moved here in July. But what a fun experience! Love your post and seeing it from a boy mom perspective lol I loved your home the first time I saw it and just love that you finally gave in to your passion for the rest of us to enjoy! Oh and tell Maddie Veronica says hi!
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Doris
11/2/2016 03:04:51 pm
Wow Elena, I sure am looking forward to Maddie's first formal dance, after hearing how well yours went. I definitely agree that the girls are natural born planners and we gravitate and thrive on having all of our events planned out, sometimes weeks in advance. Good preparation for our wedding day! ;-)
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AuthorMom. Wife. Interior Stylist. Creative Soul. Coffee Addict. Wine Enthusiast. Lover of Life. Child of God. Archives
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